Leave & Go


Leaves clenching closely in the tree branch
Breathing happily like there's no second chance
Hanging in innocence
Silently holding stronger than we notice
For the leaves gladly dances as the wind approaches

The leaves never tired of clapping
Like praising the one who made him
When storm comes and slap its face
It only bow down and pray for God's amazing grace
For the leaves know that trials come in many ways

As the tree continues to grow
The leaves will surely know
The sooner the leave will go
For thats what the leaves destiny and so
Returning from the ground is where the leaves go

Accepting the leaves fate is inevitable
Willing to let go because the leaves know
That as the tree grows
A new leave will surely show
Taking its inheritance and continue to grow


-ABoyNamedXander 
Makati | 2014

Photo Taken: Davao City, Abreeza Mall

MANHID





Yan ang pakiramdam na kahit gaano pa kasakit eh hindi mo na nararamdaman ang sakit. 

Kahit gaano pa kahirap ang sitwasyon mo, eh wala ka nang pakialam. 

Kung baga pa sanay ka na sa nararamdaman mo.

Immune.

Hanggang kailan ba dapat umabot sa punto na maging manhid ang ating nararamdaman?

Yun ba ay kapag sawa ka na.

Kapag ba paulit-ulit na lang nangyayari ang isang bagay at kahit na anong gawin mong paraan para maayos ito, wala pa din.

Talo ka pa din.

Lugi ka pa din.

Nasasaktan ka pa din.

Ngunit bakit sa tuwing naging maayos ang sitwasyon mo eh bumabalik ka na naman sa nararamdaman mo. 

Gaya sa isang relasyon. 

Kapag napagod ka na at sobrang nasaktan ka eh nagiging manhid ka na. 

Anytime, pwedeng sumuko at inawan ang kung ano man ang meron kayo.

Pero kapag sinuyo ka na naman.

Kapag pakiramdam mo ikaw ay binabalikan.

At kapag sa tingin mo ay gusto niya na sana magkaayos kayo at muling magkabalikan...

Umaasa ka na naman.

Nabigyan ka na naman ng buhay.

Muli kang magtitiwala sa pagibig.

Falls hope nga ba ang tawag dyan o sadyang totoo lang talaga na nakikipagbalikan?

Pero kapag nagkagusot na naman...

Babalik at babalik ka na naman sa nararamdaman mo.

Masasaktan.

Maiinis.

Isusumpa ang pagibig dahil sa pagiging unfair. 

Magiging manhid muli.

Paikot-ikot lang diba?

Paulit-ulit lang.

Ngunit kahit ganun pa man, ay muli tayong magtitiwala.

Muling aasa.

Parte na siguro ng buhay ng isang tao ang masaktan at maging manhid. 

Kasama na yan sa pagiging tao natin. 

Bahagi ng buhay natin.

Ngunit alam mo kung ano ang masaklap?

Yun ay yung umabot ka na sa punto na ayaw mo nang umibig muli.

Ayaw mo nang magtiwala muli.

Ayaw mo nang masaktan muli.

Takot ka na sa lahat ng bagay.

Kaya kahit dumating na ang tamang tao para sayo, takot ka pa din magtiwala.

Saklap.

Responsibility



Remember when you were a kid? Your biggest worry was, like, if you get a new shirt or a brand new shoes on your birthday or if your parents give you your one weeks "baon" or just enough for a day. Or your only focus is just to play and play harder. 

Being an adult? Totally overrated. 

I mean seriously, most of us are fooled by fancy clothes, red shoes, brand new car, credit cards, late night parties, great sex, and the no parents telling you what to do and what not to do thingy. 

Adulthood is responsibility. 

This letter R really sucks. Really, really sucks. 

As adults, we need to do things to survive. We need to earn a living to pay our monthly rental. If you are a teacher, educating little ones means you are shaping the future of our nation by molding this little ones into a better adult in the future. Talk about responsibility. As an HR person, holding employees personal and confidential information is a big responsibility, hello? If you're a bus/jeepney driver or a even pilot, the lives of your passengers is in your hands. Responsibility, right?

Responsibility doesn't go away. Even when we were still young and past the age of childhood, responsibility never stops and cannot be avoided. Eerie part about responsibility? When you screw up. Either some people make faces on us or we suffer the consequences. Big time. 

But still, adulthood has its perks. I mean, fancy clothes, cars, parties, one hot great sex, and the no-parent-telling-you-what-to-do. That's, pretty damn good. 

Shattered



Sometimes we need to get hurt for us to heal. We need to get wounded to experience pain. Sometimes we need to get lost for us to get direction. We sometimes need destruction, damaged or broken for us to understand how to build ourselves and be created anew, stronger, better and different. 

Personally, fear befalls me when I am broken and shattered. I became fragile and easily distracted. I lost direction. I lost control of my decisions and always jump into every opportunity that comes my way. I want to keep away from that feeling of loneliness and hurt and so I easily dive into anything that comes along whatever it takes.

I envy those who have that guts to be strong despite and inspite of what situation they are into. I admire those who still believe that there is someone out there who firmly believe with all their faith that someone is always ready to save them from their misery.

I do believe, but I just don't know how to start.

I can hear that little child inside me calling and just waiting for my answer. But my answer seems unclear. Indefinite. 

Maybe this is the way to be completely bounded by love and protection so in the future that lightning of brokenness fall on me... I will become numb and strong. Better. Different. Stronger. 

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