Love Potion Number 9

BABALA: Walang kinalaman ang title na ito sa mga nakasaad sa ibaba. Lol..

Rain starts to pour at around 8AM last August 27 while I was busy packing my "dora backpack" for the so called "Maitim na Balak: Ang Soul Searching ng mga Single na Bloggers". I was kinda hesitant at first to go out because the day prior to the said event, I was sick and afraid that It'll get worst if I force myself to go out. However, I do not have any other choice but to go. The ticket is with me. If I wont go chances are, Carlo will kill me; alam nyo naman na sa title pa lang ng blog niya parang naisin mo na lang na mawala na parang bola kesa magalit siya; or they will hate me for the rest of their lives. Ayaw ko kayang magkaroon ng bad image sa blogosphere. Lol.

Aside from me, eight people confirmed their attendance. Leah, Bino, Mhel, Jay, Joshua, Cuteberl and DB. Ang bilis lang nilang mag "I do" sa invitation ni Carlo baka daw kasi masupladuhan (haha..napansin mo Carlo kanina ko pa pinagdiinan na suplado ka? Haha).

Amidst the storm, eight committed themselves to get wet and wild. They promise to have fun and enjoy instead of worrying that they get sick afterwards. Everyone enjoyed the adventure as I can see it.

As always, in every eyeball what is difficult is the first "hi and hello". There is these feeling of awkwardness and hesitation. But with this group, there has been no awkwardness. Walang hiya lang talaga kami. Sa unang pagkikita pa lang ehhh tawanan na agad. Medyo may kunting hiya pero normal lang naman yun.

T'was a great experience. Its an adventure that really change our lives (hopefully for the It was in this iBall I ever tried those death defying rides like the Space Shuttle and EKStreme Tower Ride. Nagbayad ka sa mga rides na to para mamatay. I swear I never had that adrenaline rush when I tried it specially the EKstreme Tower Ride. Agaw buhay na karanasan. Yung feeling na parang hinuhulog ka from the Eiffel Tower. Ang saya!

I wont tell you about my first impression to these new found friends but we only have one common denominator: MABABAIT KAMING LAHAT (with conviction!)

I will tell you instead about the things you haven't seen in the pictures we posted. 
  1. We donated Leah's pasalubong to the charity in Enchanted Kingdom. Bawal daw kasi magdala ng pagkain sa loob at hindi rin pwede ilagay sa locker. Pwede kayang sabihin na taga charity din kaming siyam para sa amin na lang din ibigay ang pagkain. Lol.
  2. Nag check-in sa motel. Yes! as in capital M-O-T-E-L. With me in the room is Leah and Bino. 
  3. I don't know if Leah and Bino had there goodnight sleep because according to them I snore the whole time. I did informed them before going to bed though that I snore... Lolz.
  4. Leah, Xander, Bino, DB and Joshua purchased a very cheap slippers at Waltermart so they can changed there soaking wet shoes. 
  5. Mahal ang tsinelas sa EK. Pang havaianas ang price...JOKE lang!
  6. Sa unang rides palang namin na Anchors Away, nahilo na si Leah at yun ang dahilan na di na siya sumakay ng mga nakakamatay na rides. Sadness much!
  7. Basang basa na kaming lahat nang maisipan namin na may binibentang makukulay na kapote sa EK. Bumili at isinuot ang kapote kahit basa na kami. Astig diba??? Lol
  8. Everytime mag rides kami titigil ang ulan. Kapag tapos na ang rides at naglalakad na kami para sa next ride bubuhos ang malakas na ulan. Oh diba! parang nangaasar lang...
  9. Nakailang beses bumalik sa Rio Grande Rapids na nakakapote.
  10. Binagyo ng malakas habang nasa itaas ng Wheels of Fate.

Thanks guys for making may vacation a blast. Lol. Parang kung san galing noh. Hope to see you soon again for another adventure. ***Wink wink!


Kitchen Knight: The Best Meals Come By Knight

One of the main problem of people working late at night, specially those in a BPO (Business Process Outsourcing) industry, is the shortage of food. Establishments who offers great and affordable dining experience usually starts to close at 9PM. Food pantries are sometimes boring if not nonnutritive. I am one of those who work at night and my main concern is where to dine during that hour? Sometimes I pack lunch but most of the time I don't. I always depend on food chains and "turo-turo" which is really unhealthy if you constantly do it. Nakakasawa din naman

Last August 26, Bino and I were lucky to be invited by a very unique food delivery provider in Makati and in Taguig. The name itself sounded like a very good one: Kitchen Knight.

You will be delighted in their selection of Korean, Japanese, Thai and Filipino dishes which will be freshly cooked upon order.

I ordered Fish Hoisin
Chicken Bulgogi
Pork Tonkatsu

Ever heard of Popping Boba???

It's a seaweed coating that has concentrated juice in it. Once you bite in it, it will burst or pop in your mouth. Kitchen Knight offers a drink with the amazing Popping Boba.

Popping Boba
Juice drink with Popping Boba

But wait there's more!! When I checked their facebook account, I just found out that they also delivers Angry Bird cupcakes. Yes! You heard it right. Inspired from one of the coolest game application of today.

Angry Birds Cupcakes -Php33.00 each (photo: from Kitchen Knight)

So what now huh!?

Currently, Kitchen Knight only delivers within Makati, Makati CBD, and Fort Bonifacio CBD and opens from 6:00PM-3:00AM (Mondays thru Fridays) but they also welcome walk-ins if you live nearby.

They are situated at 8893-D Sampaloc St., San Antonio Village Makati City, Philippines.

They also offers bulk lunch packs, order for family gatherings, private parties, meetings and functions, and catering services.

More Info:
Phone: 519-3333 and 519-5555 (delivery is free for a minimum of three dishes. P50 will be charged for two dishes or less)
I wish that Kitchen Knight would open in the morning to cater those who are working regular hours. It would be great if they can also order instead of going out of the office to eat.

As what the owner told us they they will soon open in the morning. Since the business is just a year old so they are probably on the experimental stage but I can assure you that the food they offer really taste great and really affordable.

So, friends who work at night please do not hesitate to give them a call. Kitchen knight will surely conquer your hunger because the best meals come by knight.

Some photo on this post is taken from

Of Realizations, Doubts and Rejection

This is the longest vacation I ever had. I mean, I haven't been this lax all my life. As most of you know that I am currently jobless and finding ways to have the ends met. Though I know that sooner or later I will land on the job that is best for me.

However, just this afternoon as I was staring at my laptop browsing some job openings I feel so useless. I just feel so helpless. I've never been this idle for a long time. I felt that my skills and expertise are so not  working anymore.

I began to ponder on why and what happened. It shouldn't be this way. I should not feel this way. I should rejoice because I have the time to rest and think of better ways on how and where to discharge my energy. 

I began to doubt myself and feel that I am incompetent and that I can not really do greater things. I am just one of those wannabee who is trying so hard to impress a lot of people but deep inside I am just the same wannabee who will fail in the end. I feel rejected. 

But.. I wont just sit here and do nothing.

I realized that:

  • I am this strong to face every circumstance with dignity and FAITH
  • I can still walk through the valley of the shadow of death jobless for with God nothing is impossible.
  • I still have this calmness inside even if the world is chaotic.
  • I believe in grace under pressure. 
  • I always find peace in the arms of my loving God.
  • When fear and doubt sets in, my faith grows more than my doubt and fear.
  • There are still people who believe in what I can do and not what I cannot do.
  • There are people whom I called friends but never really a true friend.
  • Never trust someone who offers you great things because in the end they are the one who will take greater things away from you. 
So, right now.. I am ready for a new adventure and always ready to take a new challenge. So bring it on!

Lesson at the Gym

hiram kay manong google
I went to the nearest gym after work as one of my daily routine. Most of us, wants to look gorgeous and beautiful. Who doesn't want a nice abs, cool and muscular biceps and triceps. Who doesn't want to look great every time you see yourself in the mirror? Well, I'm not count me in. However, I enrolled in a gym for me to gain weight and to just have a defined body. I am very lean and wants to add a little weight and some muscles too. I think looking good is one way of enhancing my confidence. Gusto ko lang talaga maging mawdel.

I was in the thread mill for 30 minutes. I can feel the sweat coming out in every part of my body. I didn't stop  until my 30 minutes thread mill ended. As I was cooling down, I can sense sadness inside. I was looking at myself in front of the mirror trying to figure out what causes the sudden loneliness. I look left and right and observe the people around. I can feel the atmosphere of sadness going into my nerves. I almost cried but I didn't. I wonder.. and keep looking in the mirror. I know what I feel is something inside of me.

I take a quick glance on the big fat beautiful woman on my right side and this muscular tall guy next door on my left side. They've been working their ass off just to look good and sexy. And here I am doing the same stuff. I can sense that there is lacking in me. I feel emptiness. I'm missing someone. I know I need to do something.

While I was walking back to the locker room, I saw this sign board: "Shaping your body is shaping your inner soul."

I finally realized that I lack the inner peace in me. I lost the time at church, in meditation, in reading the Bible. I lost the connection with God. I stop and let go of the only communication that I have with my creator --PRAYING.

I admit that lately, I haven't prayed just like I prayed before. I lost the passion. I lost the fire inside.

I hurriedly change clothes and went to the shower room. I turned on the shower and then start praying. I know I should've done this before and shouldn't stop.

Sometimes because we are too busy with the world we forgot the most important thing. We forgot to thank God for every blessings. We forgot to say a little prayer.

Sometimes we are too occupied with work. We are too happy with things around us. We are too focus on things that we always do but forgot to say thank you to the one who created everything.

And then when these things are gone and when we are alone, that's the only time we remember and return to our first love - God.

So today, I say thank you for the blessings that you have showered me. I wont ask why things are happening right now but I will say THANK YOU  for making me a strong person despite of the trials I am dealing with. You are my God and I will shout your fame.


Sana Andyan Ka Lang

Minsan naisip ko na sana di na lang kita nakilala
Hindi ako nagsisisi ng ibigan ka
Ngunit naisip ko na baka masaktan na naman ako
Pero di alintana sa kung ano man ang maidulot nito

Matagal na kitang kakilala
Simula nung ako ay meron pa
Hindi ko man sinasadya na ikaw ay ibalewala
Ngunit sa una nating pagkikita para akong ibong nakawala

Dulot mo ay saya sa malungkot kung mundo
Sigla sa puso ko ay ibinalik mo
Ito ang takot ko na baka may magbago
Ngunit bahala na basta ang mahalaga ikaw ay nasa puso ko

Alam ko hindi mo ako kayang saktan
Alam mo din naman na di kita kayang pakawalan
Ngunit alam mo at alam ko na sa ating pag-iibigan
Ang sakit at puna ay sadyang hindi maiiwasan

Kakaibang pag iibigan na sa tingin nila ay mali
Pero sa atin ito ay tama at walang pasubali
Ngunit anong pakialam natin sa lipunan na mapanghusga
Kung ang mahalaga ay tayong dalawa

Hindi ko pinapangako na kaya kung ibigay ang lahat
Ngunit susuungin ko ang masalimot at matinik na gubat
Hindi ako mangangako na di ka kailan man sasaktan
Pag nangyari yun, ngayon palang, Mahal patawad sa ngalan ng ating pag-iibigan

Saksi ang buwan at mga bituin
Mula nang dumating ka, puso ko'y iyong alipin
Sana andyan ka lang
Katabi ko magpakailaman.

Why Every Good Things Has To End? And Why I'm Jobless?

I posted the line above last week in my Facebook wall after what happened at work last Friday morning.  At exactly 5AM last Friday, August 12, 2011 my boss called up for an emergency meeting. I really do not have any idea what to talked about since there is no issue or anything from the past few weeks or months at work. The work that we have seems really smooth.

Anyways, just to give you a short background I am working in a KPO (Knowledge Process Outsourcing) company here in the country. Lets just named it as Company B. I've been with Company B for 3 months now. I am working as an HRIS (Human Resource Information System) Specialist. We are the pioneering team in Manila and our counterpart is based in New York, USA. We have a great team and as I can see it we have a great working relationship with our bosses in New York.Within 3 months the transition and training works just fine.

Going back to the meeting..

So our boss call a meeting inside a very private room. I can sense that there is something really happening. When I enter the room and look at my boss's face, I knew that its something terrible or bad. She started by saying, that she have a bad news to tell. From that point I told myself that I hope it's not what I'm thinking. And then she told us straight that the client that we are handling just pull out and that they are terminating their contract.

Well, honestly speaking in a call center industry, losing one's job is something that is normal. I mean, people come and go and client can just pull out anytime they want. I can see this one coming but not that early. The team is just 3 months old and that they can't just terminate the contract. However, it's a client's decision. It's still not clear to me why they did that. I have so many questions to ask which was answered by my boss.

You see, I am not the type of person who will just let go of something that I really love doing. Like this work is something that I really treasure.

Honestly at first, I am hurt and disappointed with what happened and also with Company B. Why???

Well, let's just say that before I decide to join the company I made a lot of considerations.

I came from a very good company. In fact one of the best in the country. Let's just named it as Company A. The company is really good to me. Its actually like a home to me. The people that I'm working with are so great and that they made me feel welcome since day one. I was 6 months old when I left Company A. It means I just got my regularization when I left. Company B called me up and asking me if I am interested in the position they offer. You see, I really didn't apply for the said position. They called me up asking me if I would like to consider. At first, I just ignore the offer since I love Company A. But Company B is persistent and called me a couple of times. At the back of my mind, there is something in this job that they are offering. So I made a decision to try it out. I went to interview process by the client and then after two weeks, I got the offer. Before I signed the contract, I asked them a lot of questions specially the security of my job. I asked the recruiter directly what will happen to us if the client pulled out the account before the contract ends. She gave me an indirect answer that it wont happen as they have a contract with the company. So, since I went to this whole thing, I decided to sign the contract and tadah! I have a new job. 

However, things turn out differently until my boss broke out the news. I can see this one coming. I know that this will happen to us but not this early. I was actually giving myself a year or maybe 6 months before this will happen. I am honestly, disappointed with the company that they wont save us from this one. However, in fairness to them I know that they did their best to save us by offering us a position. But the position is not for me, its not the line of work that I think I would like to be dealing with plus the salary is way too low. I'd rather leave than stay. The damage has been done and the trust has been broken.

After I clean up my desk and left the building on that same day, I realized that good things really come to an end. Though I am disappointed but I understand the client's decision that due to a business need they need to terminate their contract with us. I also understand that Company B cannot save us because they dont have any position that will fit to us. And again in all fairness to Company B, they gave us a separation pay that is due to us. Thanks to Company B that I somehow met great people. Thanks and I will surely miss you guys! Sorry to my teammate that I cannot defend our team to stay. But this is something that will make us stronger. According to my teammate: "Whatever things that doesn't kill makes us stronger".

So right now, I'm jobless but not worried. I am just looking on the brighter side. I am not dwelling too much on what happened but looking forward for a better things that will surely come. I am just leaving it up to God and everything will just follow. I am not mad or disappointed anymore with Company B as this is just purely business. They became fair to us and I know that they want to keep the team but its out of their hands anymore. What happened to me is a learning experience. It's actually a liberating experience. I didn't regret that I made a decision to leave Company A as the experience I have with Company B is something that I treasure.

God bless us all!

Happy Birthday Papa!

This is just a short message..

I would just like to great my Papa a Happy Birthday. Kahit wala man ako sa piling mo ngayon at di ako kasama sa pag celebrate ng iyong kaarawan, gusto ko lang malaman mo na andito lang ako at mahal na mahal kita. 

What Makes a Dad

God took the strength of a mountain,
The majesty of a tree,
The warmth of a summer sun,
The calm of a quiet sea,
The generous soul of nature,
The comforting arm of night,
The wisdom of the ages,
The power of the eagle's flight,
The joy of a morning in spring,
The faith of a mustard seed,
The patience of eternity,
The depth of a family need,
Then God combined these qualities,
When there was nothing more to add,
He knew His masterpiece was complete,
And so,

He called it ... Dad

~~Author Unknown.~~

Return To Sender: The Fierce Mistress

A mistress should be like a little country retreat near the town, not to dwell in constantly, but only for a night and away.  -- Lord Byron (British Poet, 1788-1824)

Hi Guys! The Guru is back.

It's been a while since I havent posted anything like this. You've Got Mail is now called Return To Sender. This is my way of replying to those email senders who wants to hear my point of view and opinion about their queries and concerns. I'm replying (returning) the email to sender with my own views and opinions. Kuha nyo?

Anyways, here's an interesting email from someone and for security and privacy reasons, lets just call her the Fierce Mistress (Parang bagong palabas lang na the Fierce Wife ng ABS-CBN Channel 2).


From: The Fierce Wife
Date: July 30, 2011 10:15AM
Subject: Confession of a Mistress

Hello aBoyNamedXander,

I always visit your blog because I find it interesting and entertaining. The way you wrote your stories and the poems are incredibly inspiring. Kahit na yung mga tula mo medyo nakakarelate ako. Gawa ka pa madaming ganun ha!

Anyway, alam mo na cguro kung why aketch nagsulat sayo. Hmm... nahihiya man akong ikwento ang buhay ko pero gusto ko na din malaman ang opinyon mo sa mga bagay bagay sa buhay ko. Kasi ako man di ko maintindihan ang sarili ko. I love myself so much but it seems that I love this guy more than anything. Praning na kung praning pero mahal ko talaga eh. What can I do? I'm just a girl . Hehehe...

Ok heto na Xander, it actually happened two years ago pa pero until now hindi ko parin magawang iwanan ang mokong na ito. Ok.. heto na talaga promise...

Nakilala ko ang isang guy sa dati kong pinagtatrabahuan. He seems nice and cute. Nung una medyo ayaw ko sa kanya  kasi nayayabangan ako pero di naglaon ehh nahulog na din ang loob ko sa kanya. Mabait naman siya at mukhang matino. During our out of towns ehh palagi kaming magksama, with other officemates of course. Nagtatrabaho pala kami sa isang sikat na Pharmaceutical company. Kahit na hindi kami pareho ng produkto na binibenta ehh palagi pa rin kaming nagkikita dahil sa isang kumpanya lang kami namamasukan. Hanggang sa dumating ang time na niligawan niya ako. Since single ako at sa medyo tumatanda na rin eh, hindi na ako nagdalawang isip na sagutin ang mokong na to. Masaya kaming dalawa. Walang problema. Hindi kumplikado ang buhay. And I'm at peace when I'm with him.

Fast forward... hehehe

Nung first anniversary namin, we decided to go out of town na kaming dalawa lang. Pumunta kami sa isang resort sa may Batangas. Masaya pa kaming dalawa. Pero sa gabi ding yun ang saya ko ay napalitan ng lungkot at pighati. Isang tawag sa telepono ng boyfriend ko ang umalingawngaw sa kwarto. Nataranta siya nung nakita niya kung sino ang tumatawag. Kinabahan na ako. Pero wala siyang choice kundi sabihin sa akin ang totoo. Naririnig ko kasi sa boses nung tumatawag na isang babaeng nagmumura at galit na galit. Alam ko na ang mangyayari.

Oo, Xander, may iba nga siya. Pero hindi lang dun nagtatapos. Mas nakakagulat ang revelations niya. All I know, is may iba siya. Pero mali ako. Ako pala yung iba niya. Ako yung pangalawa niya. Ang malupit pa nito may anak siya sa babaeng yun. Isang taon kong inakala na ako lang. Pero hindi pala. Isang taon akong niloko ni mokong na ako lang ang babae niya. Stupid ko talaga.

Pero...mahal ko siya. Sobra!!! Ang sabi niya maghihiwalay na daw sila nung babae at ako ang pipiliin niya. Pero nabigo ako kasi pinili pa rin niya ang babae at iniwan ako.

Until now may communication pa kami at nagkikita pa din kami kasi mahal ko siya. Two year na ang nakaraan pero patuloy pa rin akong umaasa na ako ang pipiliin niya. Masama bang magmahal? Hindi ko naman alam nung una na may iba siya. Kung ako lang ayaw ko din naman, kaso sobrang mahal na mahal ko siya. Nagkikita pa rin kami hanggang ngayon at sinasabi pa rin niya na mahal niya ako.

Ano ba dapat kong gawin? Nahihirapan na ako. Gusto ko din naman makasama ang lalaki na mahal ko at walang sabit. Pero bakit sa kanya pa? Ano ba kailangan kong gawin upang makalimutan siya? Pakilala mo naman ako sa mga friends mo oh! hahahaha... Mababit ba ang mga bloggers na friends mo? Gwapo ba sila? Bigyan mo ako kahit isa lang yung single, may trabaho, gwapo, at yung mamahalin ako ng ako lang. Ahehehe...

Salamat ng marami Xander. Alam ko busy ka sa life mo at sa pag blog. Keep blogging and hope to hear from you soon.

Tenchu Bere Mats,

The Fierce Mistress

Dear Fierce Mistress,

First of all, thank you for allowing me to share your story. I can assure you that your name and information will be kept private. Mahirap din ang madaming nagseshare sayo ng sekrito at hindi pwedeng i share sa iba. Hahaha.. Buti na lang shock absorber ako. Anyways, kudos to you for having that kind of spirit. Inspite and despite of you can still laugh and make fun of it. I can see that you are looking on the brigther side of life.

About your situation, I respect how you feel towards "mokong". I also understand that in the first place you didn't know that he is already committed to someone. However, ang hindi ko lang maintindihan ay isang taon pa bago mo nalaman na walang siyang iba? Mukhang impossible kasi kung isang taon malamang may mga pagkakataon na mahuhuli mo siya na may iba unless magaling lang talaga magtago si Mokong or manhid ka lang talaga na kahit alam mo nang may iba siya ehh go ka pa rin dahil mahal mo siya.

And if two years ago na ang nangyari iyon at sinasabi pa rin niya na hihiwalayan niya ang babaeng iyon aba ate! gumising ka na sa kahibangan mo. Two years ka nang niloloko niya. I'm sorry pero inis at galit ako sa mga two timer (Naks! May pinaghuhugutan daw!). Maybe you should think of loving yourself more. Maybe try to divert yourself into something valuable, something important.

Ang sa akin lang.. eh baka sa tuwing hindi available yung #1 niya ehh sayo siya pumupunta. Badtrip yun! Hindi tama yun! Unless gustong gusto mo din maging kabit! Sabagay sabi nga nila pag kabit ka raw ehh mas mahal ka daw nung lalaki kesa dun sa #1. YUN ANG SABI NILA.

Pero again, show yourself some respect and love it more than anything. Maraming paraan para makalimutan kung gugustuhin.Hindi pa naman siguro mauubos ang lalaki sa mundo. Im sure someone out there, who is single, is willing to date or love you.

I just hope that one day you will realize na hindi sa lahat ng oras puso ang pinaiiral. Minsan kailangan timbangin gamit ang utak.

At the end of the day.. nasa sayo pa rin ang desisyon. Ikaw pa rin ang masusunod. Hindi ako ang gumagawa ng love story ng buhay mo kundi ikaw ang nagpapatakbo nito.

Ang sa akin lang.. ay sana maging masaya ka sa tatahaking landas.. at sana maging happy ever after ang love story mo.

And by the way, Oo! Marami akong kakilalang bloggers na di hamak gwapo at matino pa sa mokong na yan. Just tell me if you're ready. Hahahaha..

Peace and salamat muli. God bless you Fierce Mistress.

Kabayaran sa Kasamaan

Abot tanaw na ni Dan ang pangarap na gusto niyang makamtam. Isang hakbang na lang at makikita na din ang inaasam asam na karimlan. Para sa kanya, mainam na tapusin ang buhay kay sa makita ang pamilyang nagugutom sa hirap at asawang nasasaktan sa tuwing siya'y nasasapian ng demonyo ng alak.

Nakatayo sa gilid ng pampang sa may sapa si Don habang inaalala ang kasamang idinulot niya sa asawa't mga anak.

Isang hakbang na lang ay matatapos na din ang paghihirap ng kanyang pamilya.

Hindi na niya kaya ang pananakit sa asawang si Mae tuwing nalalasing siya.

Hindi na niya kayang makitang nagugutom ang anak sa tuwing binibili niya ng alak ang pera na dapat sana'y gastusin para sa pagkain ng pamilya.

At hinding hindi niya mapapatawad ang pambababae at panloloko sa butihing may bahay.

Nanlulumo sa kahihiyan..



Si Mae ang simbolo ng isang ilaw ng tahanan na nangarap na mapabuti ang kanyang pamilya. Isang inang nangarap na sana maibalik ang dating saya ng pamilya. Isang asawang inasam ang yakap ng Mister at inaasahang bumalik ang dating sigla ng katuwang sa hirap at ginhawa.

Ngunit hindi lahat ng masasayang bagay sa mundo ay kanyang nakukuha.

Habang nakatingin sa malakas na agos ng tubig sa sapa si Dan, bumabalik sa kanyang alaala ang bawat suntok at pananakit sa asawa. Sa bawat paglapat ng mga kamay nito sa asawa ay ganun na lang din ang sakit at pighati ang kanyang nadarama.

Nanlulumo sa kahihiyan..



Hindi niya kayang humarap sa butihing maybahay at humingi ng tawad sa mga kasalanan nito.

Isang hakbang na lang ang kailangan....

Isang hakbang na tatapos sa lahat ng kanyang kasamaan...

Ngunit bago pa ito makahakbang isang sigaw ang umalingawngaw sa kanyang liguran.

"Dan! Wag!!!" Ang sigaw ni Mae sa asawa.

"Tama na, umuwi na tayo sa bahay. Mahal kita. Asawa kita. Kahit ano pa man ang nagawa mo ay naiintindihan ko." Sambit ni Mae sa asawang nanakit sa kanya.

"Mae? Pano mo nasasabi ang mga bagay na yan?"

"Tingan mo ang itsura mo sa salamin kung gaano kita nasaktan."

"Hindi pa ba sapat ang mga pasa sa buo mong katawan para iwanan ako?"

"Hindi pa ba sapat ang mga salitang nabitiwan ko sa tuwing nakakainom ako?"

"Kaya mo bang tingnan ang mga anak natin na magutom dahil sa kapabayaan ko?"

"Dan, alam ko na may kabutihan pa rin sa puso mo." Ang sagot ni Mae sa asawa.

"Kalimutan na natin ang lahat at mag umpisa tayo ng panibago para sa pamilya natin. Para sa mga anak natin."

"Hindi ko kayang mag isa sa buhay. Hindi ko kayang makita ang mga anak natin na lumaking may galit sayo. Hindi ko kayang lumaki ang ating anak na ulila at walang amang nakagisnan." Pagsusumamo ni Mae kay sa asawa.

Dahan dahan na lumapit si Mae sa kinatatayuan ng asawa.

Napagtanto ni Dan na may pag-asa pa siyang mag bagong buhay.

Gusto din niyang magbago. Gusto din niya makasama ang pamilya at makita ang mga anak na lumaki na may pagmamahal at gabay ng isang ama. Isang ama na magiging simbolo ng katatagan at haliga sa kanilang tahanan.

Hindi gumalaw si Dan sa kanyang kinatatayuan. Tila ba nakapako ang kanyang sa kinatatayuan.

Nagtatalo pa rin ang konsensya at ang ang alaala na baka maulit pa rin ang ginawa niya.

Lumingon si Dan kay Mae...

"Patawad sa mga nagawa kong kasalanan."

"Sana bigyan mo pa ako ng pagkakataon." Sambit ni Dan na may pagsisisi.

"Kalimutan na natin ang nangyari. Lumapit ka dito Dan." Sabay abot ang dalawang kamay ni Mae habang naiiyak at naawa sa asawa.

Dahan dahang lumapit si Mae kay Dan upang ilayo sa kinatatayuan.

Ngunit tila ba napadikit ang mga paa ni Dan sa batong kanyang kinatatayuan sa gilid ng pampang.

Sa di maipaliwanag na dahilan hiindi maihakbang ni Dan ang kanyang mga paa.




Dahan dahang lumapit si Mae sa asawa.

Tumabi ito kay Dan habang nakatingin sa kawalan...

Umiiyak... Humahagulgol...

"Mae, patawad sa mga nagawa ko. Mahal na mahal ko kayo ng mga anak natin."

"Sana bigyan mo pa ako ng isang pang pagkakataon."

"Alam kong ilang beses na akong humingi ng tawad pero hindi ko tinupad. Pero ngayon, huli na to. Tanggapin mo ako bilang asawa mo." Saad ni Dan kay Mae.

Hindi maipaliwanag ang tuwa at saya sa narinig niyang salita sa asawa.

Balot sa luha ang mga mata ni Mae habang yakap ang asawa ng biglang...


Isang malakas na sigaw ang tanging narinig ni Mae habang nakatingin sa asawang nilamon ng malakas na agos ng tubig.


MORAL LESSON: Bawat kasalanan maliit man o malaki ay may kabayaraan. Mabigat man o magaan ang kabayaran ay dapat tanggapin ng bukal sa kalooban. Hindi man natin magustuhan ang kaparusahan ngunit sadyang may kapalit ang lahat ng kasamaan.

Oh na na, Whats My Name?


Seriously, I really don't like my name that much.


Tinatanong pa ba yan? For me kasi my name is so common. Madami akong kapangalan.

Gusto ko kasi wala akong kapangalan eh. Gusto ko nagiisa lang ang name ko. Like for example, when I had my Masters may ka name ako na Alex (girl). So kapag tinatawag ang Alex napapatayo kaming dalawa kasi di  namin alam kung ako ba o yung girl ang tinatawag. Nakakainis diba.. pero mas gusto ko na siya ang tawagin haha.. Ayaw ko kasi ang oral recitation ehh.. Lol.

If given a chance at kapag mayaman na ako, I might change my name into something different. Yung hindi common maybe starts with letter "Z" like Zandro, Zabel, Zeebeedee, Zuma (di pala common ha!?) or maybe starts with "X" like Xavier (marami nga lang kapareho) o di naman kaya a name that starts with Ñ. Astig diba?

Pero honestly gusto ko talaga na name nag start sa letter "J". Ewan ko kung bakit pero parang nice ang mga name na nag start sa "J".

Like Joshua, John, James, Jasper, Jeremiah, Jireh. Mga pinsan ko name nila starts with letter "J". Ang saya lang. Nakakainggit. Pag naguluhan yung Mommy nila at nakalimutan kung sino panganay sa kanila tatawagin na lang silang J1, J2, J3 and J4.

Parang yung magkakapatid lang na may Flor ang name. Naguluhan yung daddy nila kung sino ba ang panganay kung si Flor de Lisa, Flor de Luna, o si Flor de Leah ba. Kaya sa kalituhan binigyan na lang niya ito ng code na 1st Flor, 2nd Flor and 3rd Flor. Galing diba?

Mabalik tayo sa name ko...

Akala ko panget ang name ko.


Tinanong ko si Mama kung bakit Alexander ang name na binigay nila sa akin.

Here's some facts about my name:
  • Ang nagbigay ng name ko ay ang Lolo ko -- Astig! Nangingialam (dyuk lang! I love you Lolo)
  • Pinangalan pala talaga ako sa magiting na manlulupig at mananakop na si Alexander The Great -- Double Astig!! Ikaw na Lolo!
  • Gusto daw ni Lolo na maging magiting ako gaya ni Alexander The Great
  • Naging great din naman ako.. The Great Protector. The Great Pretender. The Great sa kakulitan. The Great sa kagwapuhan (wag basagan ng trip!)
Akala ko dati pinaka common na ang name na Alexander sa balat ng lupa, yun pala HINDI!

Ayun sa ang ALEXANDER  na name ay pang #141 most common male first name and 0.132% of males in the US are named ALEXANDER. Around 161700 US Males are named ALEXANDER!

Hindi na rin masama. At least hindi #1 pinaka common ang name ko...

And ang first letter ng name ko starts with letter "A". San kapa pinaka una sa letters ng Alphabeth. Ehh di ako na ang pinaka una.
And to add..

Marami din ang may name na Alex or Alexander ang super sikat and some of them changed the shape of universe with their contributions..
  • Alexander the Great - A towering figure in the ancient history, came close to cinquering the entire civilized world of his day. The son of King Phillip II of Macedon. Alexander was educated by the Philosopher Aristotle and first led troops at age 18.
  • Alexander Graham Bell - the man who invented the Telephone.
  • Alexander Fleming - is famous for discovering the usefulness of penicillin as an antibacterial agent.
  • Alexander Calder - abstract painter and scupltor famous for working in wire and originating the dangling, moving artworks know as mobiles.
And ang next sa mga nasa itaas ay ako na... ALEXANDER CATIERO.. hehehe (Hari ng yabang lang!)

A certain survey says that Alexander is such a nice name. Ako na ang proud sa name ko..

So starting today, I will love my name with all my heart and be proud of it. PWAMIZZ....

Simpleng Pamamaalam

Nakatitig sa kawalan si Yumi habang nakatayo sa may bintana.

Malakas ang ulan noon at malamig na hangin ang dumadampi sa kanyang katawan. Tila ba nagpaparamdam ng isang malungkot na pamamaalam.

Sumasabay ang kanyang mga mata habang sinasayaw paitaas ng hangin ang kulay asul na tabing ng bintana.

Humakbang siya papalayo at umupo sa may kama.

Nakatuon ang kanyang mga mata sa may bintana at pinagpatuloy ang pagtitig sa kawalan.

Minamasdan ang sayaw ng ulan.

Pinakikinggan ang panaghoy ng hangin.

Malungkot... Balisa ang kanyang isipan... Kinakabahan...

Humiga siya may kam...

Binaluktot ang kanyang mga paa hanggang sa ang mga tuhod nito ay umabot sa kanyang dibdib.

Niyakap ang kanyang sarili na parang isang sanggol na nasa sinapupunan pa. 

Naging mahinahon ang kanyang nararamdaman. Sa sandaling iyon ay nakaramdam siya ng kapayapaan.

Isang malakas na katok ang kanyang narinig na sanhi ng paglakas muli ng pintig ng kanyang dibdib.

Muling nabalot sa pagkabalisa ang kanyang pakiramdam. 

"Siya na kaya yan?" Tanong sa kanyang isipan.

Bumangon si Yumi at dahan dahan na binuksan ang pintuan.

Nakatitig ang isang lalaking matipuno ang katawan na nakatayo sa kanyang harapan.

Walang imik...Nag uusap ang kanilang mga mata.

Pinapasok ni Yumi ang lalaki habang iniwang bukas ang pintuan. 

"Siya na nga!" Ang sambit ulit sa kanyang isipan.
Takot at lungkot ang kanyang nararamdaman. "Marahil ito na ang hinihintay ko na pagkakataon." Ang sabi ni Yumi sa kanyang sarili.

Si BJ...

Sinarado ni BJ ang pintuan habang si Yumi ay bumalik sa aking kinauupuan.

Ilang minuto pa ay wala silang kibuan.


"Haaayyyy.." Buntong hininga ni BJ.

"Dinalhan kita ng pang almusal mo. Alam kong hindi ka pa kumakain." Ang malambing na sabi ni BJ kay Yumi.

"Di ako gutom." Ang maikli niyang sagot.

"Bakit ka ba ganyan?" Ang pasigaw na tanong ni BJ kay Yumi.

Nagpipigil.. Lumakas ang pintig sa dibdib. Naninikip. Nahihirapan sa paghinga si Yumi ngunit pinilit parin na maging matatag at pilit pinipigilan ang kanyang pag-iyak.Gusto niyang sumagot sa mga tanong ni BJ. Gusto niyang magalit. Gusto niya sumigaw. Pero...

Umupo si BJ sa tabi ni Yumi.

"Sana patawarin mo ako  sa nagawa ko." sambit ni BJ sa dalaga.

Nakayuko lamang si Yumi habang pigil pa rin ito sa kanyang nararamdaman.

"Di ko sinasadyang saktan ka ng ganito." Pagpatuloy ni BJ.

Naglalaro sa alaala ni Yumi ang mga madramang palabas sa telebisyon o di naman kaya ang mga love stories na nababasa niya sa libro. Ganun na ganun ang mga eksena sa loob ng kwarto ni Yumi. 

Ito na yung eksena na sasampalin niya ang lalaki., Magsasagutan sila. Ngunit habang patuloy ang babae sa pagsampal sa lalaki ay pilit namang yayakapin ni lalakisi babae. Hanggang sa mapagod ang babae. Yayakapin ni lalaki si babae ng mahigpit. Yayakap din si babae at maisip niyang sa kabila ng nagawa nito ay mahal na mahal pa rin nila ang isat-isa. Maghahalikan. Magyayakapan ng mahigpit at kalilimutan ang hidwaan at magpaubaya na lang sa kanilang nararamdaman...


"Kasalanan mo ang lahat ng ito BJ." Ang lumuluhang sagot ni Yumi.

"Niloko mo ako. Hindi ko matatanggap na may nangyari sa iyo ng bestfriend ko." Hagulgol na sambit ng dalaga.

"Sabagay patas lang tayo! I also did what you did. Nagkaroon din ako ng iba habang tayo pa." Patuloy na sabi ni Yumi.

"So.. quits lang tayo right?" Habang may halong ngiti ang kanyang mga luha.

"Ano???" Pasigaw na sabi ni BJ. 

Naglalaro na naman sa isipan ni Yumi ang palabas sa telebisyon. Ito yung eksena na sasampalin siya ng lalaki dahil sa siya pala ang nanloko. Nasaktan ang ego ni lalaki. Iiyak ang babae at magmamakaawa na wag itong iwanan. Nakakaladkad. Ngunit deadma si lalaki.

Naghintay si Yumi sa mga mangyayari. Tila ba proud pa ito sa ginawa niya. Sa tingin niya ay patas ang ginawa niya.

Tumayo si BJ sa kinauupuan. Tumalikod kay Yumi. Sabay kuha sa pasalubong na almusal.. Binuksan ang pinto at umalis ng walang kahit anong salitang binitiwan.

Tulala si Yumi...Habang nakatingin sa papalayong si BJ.

"Yun lang?" Ang tanong sa kanyang isipan...

"San na yung eksenang magmamakaawa siyang balikan ako. Yun lang? Ganun lang ka simple akong iwanan?"

I am a Jinchuriki

Hiram na larawan kay Pareng Goggle
I was reading Manga online about Naruto's latest chapter wherein his having a hard time taming the nine tailed beast inside him. Tailed Beasts (biju) drive the plot of the Naruto series and said to be a giant construct of Chakra (basic energy source necessary for ninja to form jutsu) that if the host (Naruto for example) can tame and control it will have the ability to utilize its power which eventually gives the host great strength.

As I continue reading the last chapter, I began asking myself what if I'm one of the host in the series? How will I handle such pressure and strength? How will I react and tame my beast? I began to process these questions and I know I need answers at that point. I stared at the window pane from where I am seating in the office and then I saw  reflection of me through the glass window and suddenly I realize that each one of us has its own beast. I have my own beast inside. You have yours.


Well, some people tend to hide what they feel inside. I myself do it all the time. When someone did bad to me, I can easily say that I already forgave them for what they did. I know I need to forgive them for me to completely move on. However, resentment starts to grow inside of me. Its like hatred starts to build up because the truth is I havent really forgave them completely. It's just me saying it but really haven't forgave them.

When we experience the same thing , when someone caused us too much pain (again!) the tendecy is that the hatred starts to grow more until such time that it will explode like a tailed beast wanting to devour everyone who inflicted us with hurts and pains. We then plan to take a revenge and unfortunately we also inflict other people. Hatred stirs up trouble. Hatred is like the beast who wants to get out inside of us. Its like a living creature that wants to contaminate other peoples feelings and emotions. Its like a virus that once you have it, its hard for it to be taken away. Once the beast lashed out, it can't be controlled and will devour every one that comes his way.

I am scared and afraid, I felt that anytime soon this beast inside of me will just come out. However, I need to control it. I need not to feed it with anythng negative or that will awaken the beast. I dont want this Jinchuriki to control me and in the end feel sorry for what happened.

I prayed... and continue praying.

That is the best thing I can do to kill it inside of me. I need love to keep myself covered from hatred. I need love that covers all multitude of sin.

I need God to control my life.

Starting today, I wont feed my beast. I will not allow it to grow or never gave it a little chance to be awake. The beast should die and should be taken out inside of me, until then I will be free.

Im not the Bad Guy

I always wonder why most beautiful girls I know go for guys who has this punky kanto boy looking. Yung tipong basagulero look and anytime will hit you in the head with a bottle of beer when things get nasty during a drinking session. Some will go for a rock star look. Yung tipong astigin na medyo may pagka bad boy ang dating. Did you get what I mean? In short, beautiful girls go for bad boy looking with a real bad boy attitude kind of guy. I always wonder...

I've been branded as the bad guy, not with the way I look but with something else, attitude perhaps. With the past relationship(s) I had, I'm always the culprit of causing the relationship to fail. They always blame me why it didnt work. I'm always the reason of the breakup. They always told me that I need to change the way I look, the way I arrange my hair, the way I wear my clothes. They always told me to love myself more and then blame me for loving them too much. Nakakasakal daw ako. I do not know if loving someone is bad or maybe loving yourself is better instead of giving your love to someone else. Yung tipong wala ka naman talagang ginawang masama pero Ikaw pa ang napapasama. Pag nagmahal kasi ako I gave my all. Kulang na lang talaga ay ikaw.. Oo! Ikaw na nga! Di mo alam, kasi tanga ka lang!

I'm sick and tired of people telling you that I should love myself more and love them less. You think being single for many years and giving yourself things that you deserve is not loving yourself more? Kaya nga matagal nagkaroon ng relasyon dahil sa sobrang pagmamahal sa sarili at inuna muna ang sarili tapos heto ngayon may natipuhan ka, minahal mo at sa una mahal ka pa pero di nagtagal nagbago na.

Get's nyo ba?

Sinasabihan ka lang na mahalin mo ang sarili mo dahil ang totoo talaga niyan ay ayaw niya na mahalin mo siya dahil hindi ka naman talaga niya mahal.

Sometimes, napaisip din ako na what if maging masamang tao na lang kaya ako. What if ako naman yung manloko ng kapwa. Yung tipong mananakit ng damdamin ng tao. Yung paasahin tapos iwanan. Yung saktan sila. Masaya kaya yun???

Pero naisip ko, Im not the bad guy. If you can't accept me for who I am, and the way I express my love then sorry ka na lang. You will never find someone like me. Gwapo na, Mayaman Mabait pa...Joke!

Naisip ko lang kung baguhin ko kaya ang itsura ko, yung Rock Star ang dating. Magyosi kaya ako? Magpupunta sa mga bars? Mag lagay ng bigote? Yung cool ang dating. Kaso.. naisip ko magastos yun. Im just the guy next door type of guy (gosh! redundant na ang word na guy). Lol.

Naisip ko, para din pala akong si Naruto. May nakatagong Jinchuriki sa loob ko. Nakikita mo ako na nakatawa palagi, medyo kalog at palabiro, tahimik at minsan nag-eemo. Pero pag once na napuno na at nagalit, lumalabas yung halimaw na nakatago sa loob. Gaya ngayon. Parang gusto kong manakit ng tao. Gusto kong makakita ng taong nasasaktan. (Inhale... Outhale Exhale).. haha.

Sabi nga ni Arvin ng Damuhan, "Habang nananatili kang mabait sa kanila, lalo ka nilang gagalitin."

Pero mas mabuti nang wag na lang mag exert ng effort sa mga bagay na hindi naman worth pag aksayahan ng panahon at lakas.

Basta ako, I'll continue to be a good citizen of this world. Naks!

I'll always be the kick-ass good guy no matter what. If di matanggap ng ibang tao sa kong ano ako eh di wag! Walang pilitan para walang masaktan. Di ako mapilit. Wag ka lang mangalabit, kasi ibang usapan na yan. Hahaha.

Sabi ko nga sa Facebook wall ko: "Kung ayaw, ayaw! Kung gusto, gusto! Kung galit, galit!"

T.G.I.S. (Thank God I'm Single)

I stumbled upon this phrase in the internet while I was looking for the logo of TGIS, the now-defunct teen oriented show of GMA 7.

Medyo natawa lang ako sa phrase na ‘to kasi parang it gives new meaning to my single life. Siguro nga it is really God’s plan that I would be single, well, maybe not just for now pero baka for my entire life na rin siguro. Aaminin ko, minsan nagtatanong ako sa sarili ko kung bakit hanggang ngayon eh single pa rin ako, pero kung iisipin mo, maswerte pa rin ako kahit papaano pala. Hindi lang siguro ako nagmamadali na magkaroon ng karelasyon dahil na rin sa takot na akong mabigo at masaktan. Well, may sarili naman tayong choice sa buhay and sa ngayon mas pinipili ko na lang na maging single muna. Masaya naman pala maging single.

Una: hindi ko kailangan magpaalam kapag aalis ako sa isang tao na nakilala ko lang at minahal kamakailan lamang. Hindi ako mahihirapan magpalusot at kapag hindi ako pinayagan sumama sa mga lakad. Kung sa magulang lang ako magpapa-alam, it’s easy. I can get my way through them.

Pangalawa: hindi ako magkakandarapa sa pagtetext minu-minuto kung nasaan na ako at kung ano ginagawa ko o kung kumain na ba ako. At least, kapag single ka text mo lang mga tao sa bahay niyo para alam nila kung asan ka. Ayos na yun.

Pangatlo: pagdating ng sweldo wala kang ibang iisipin kundi ang sarili mo lamang at ang iyong pamilya. Hindi mo proproblemahin kung saan kayo sunod na magdadate. Kasi syempre diba, nakakahiya nga naman na pababalik balik nalang kayo sa isang lugar kung mag date. At siyempre, pag date din, dapat best foot forward kahit na hirap ka na sa kakabudget.

Pangapat: ligtas ako sa ka-cornyhan na tawagan kagaya ng baby, honey, sweetie, muffin, hotcake, at kung anu-ano pang ka-cornyhan. Walang maglalambing sa mga braso ko na minumudmod ang kanilang mukha na para bang mga pusa. In short, walang maarte.

Panglima: wala akong aalahanin na ibang tao kung di ang sarili ko at ang pamilya ko. Wala akong pasensya sa mga taong pag tinext mo kung ano na nangyari sa kanila ang isasagot ay okay lang, kahit alam mong hindi. At least, kung gusto ko maglakwatsa mag-isa, makakaglakwatsa ako.

Panganim: ‘di ka na makakatingin sa ibang tao lalo na kapag crush mo siya. Di ka na dapat titingin kasi meron ka nang boyfriend or girlfriend. Pero pano pag gusto mo talaga siya? Malamang na susunod niyan eh hiwalayan na.

Pangpito: pang dating ng mga birthday, pasko, new year, monthsary, anniversary di kana mabubuwang pa kakahanap at kakaisip ng ireregalo mo sa karelasyon mo. At least, kung ikaw lang mag-isa, alam mo kung ano gusto mo at alam mo kung ano ang makakapagpaligaya sayo. Hindi ka matatakot kung magugustuhan niya ba o hindi ang binili mong regalo para sa kanya.

Pangwalo: you won’t have to wait kapag may lakad kayo kasi usually, lagi late ang boyfriend o girlfriend mo. Wala rin akong pasensya sa mga ganyang tao. Kapag sinabi na ganitong oras dapat sa oras na yun andun na kayong dalawa. Dahil kung hinid, iiwanan kita.

Pangsiyam: malayo ka sa tukso ng pag-che-cheat. Kung single ka, kahit ano pwede mong gawin at dapat pag ginawa mo, tandaan lagi, no strings attached dapat. Kasi kung na-inlove ka, malamang niyan eh sumusulat ka na ng THANK GOD I’M NOT SINGLE.

Pangsampu: wala kang pagkakataon para masaktan at manakit.

Inspired and forwarded by a friend named Love.

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