You've Got Mail #3: Making the Right Choice

"There comes a time in the spiritual journey when you start making choices from a very different place. And if a choice lines up so that it supports truth, health, happiness, wisdom, and love, it's the right choice." - Angele Arrien (born 1940); Anthropologist
Hey guys! Howdy?

          Here's another email from a reader and I would like to share it with you. Our email sender is a  Certified Nurse and just got his licensed recently. He is in a dilemma of pursuing a career here in the Philippines or starting a life abroad.

You know the drill guys, so here you go...

From: Confused Nurse
Date: Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Subject: Weee...

Hey Sir Xander,

          I really admire you the way you write; your technique and style is really good. I'm an instant fan. I did some back readings on your blog and its cute to know that a lot of your readers sent you an email, and you also share it to your followers in your blog by hiding their identity. It's a nice thing since most of the email senders have something to share and you also give your own idea and point of view about a certain topic. That's cool man! I am curious about how mine will go. I just want to get your fresh and brilliant idea about my dilemma. It's about how to make the right choice. 

          I just finished college. I took up Nursing and recently got my license. I am still jobless but hoping to have a work in this field. However,my dilemma is that my parents wanted me to go abroad. Actually, they're currently living in UK. I honestly, don't agree to their idea as I wanted to pursue a career here in the Philippines. I understand their sentiments and they want me to be together but I can't imagine leaving the Philippines. Sounds nationalistic right? But that's how I feel. My close friends are here. People I know since I was a kid are here. My grandmother to took care of me is here and I can't just leave her here. I explained it to my parents but they don't buy it. 

          I am not thinking about it too much and don't exert too much energy on it  since I am persistent in looking for a job here in the country. I swear to God that If I get any type of job, I'll sure take it rather than going abroad.

          Anyways, I think this is too much. I hope to hear from you soon. I'm excited to hear your idea and maybe your followers can also advise me.

Thanks and keep blogging!

Your new follower,
Confused Nurse


Dear Confused Nurse,

I appreciate your email and the effort. Thanks for sharing your dilemma and your story. Readers and followers like you makes me want to write more and share more about my ideas. And by the way, because of emails like this, my mind is functioning properly. Hahaha! Parang nagkaroon ng gasolina ang utak ko kasi nakakapagisip ako ng mabuti. Pinahihirapan niyo ang utak ko actually. Nag nonosebleed na infact. Hindi ako nagrereklamo, bagkus, nagpapasalamat sa inyo. Group Hug...
Anyways, all I can say that "Anak ka ng Diyos". Why? Because you don't need to worry about living a life abroad since your family is in UK while others have a hard time searching for a job abroad, you have a grand mother who love and takes care of you. You have a wonderful friends that you don't want to leave.

You know what Confused Nurse, you should celebrate; choice or free will is one of life's greatest gift. As we all know; choice is the ability to select one course of action from a set of alternatives to achieve a certain goal. With our own choice/s some of us transform from a dumb animal to a social butterfly or someone we can look up to or someone we can admire to. Our choice is like a chisel that will trim or sculpt our life. However, chisel is not for free, it comes with a price and that is RESPONSIBILITY. But when we accept and carry that responsibility, the reward of our own choice is great. The reward is fullfillment and happiness.

Life is full of hard choices and the bigger they are and the more options we have, the harder they can get. You choose not to go to UK because you have a goal and that is to get and start a career here in the Philippines.  But let me ask you, What if you can't find a job? What if you don't like the job that is available? What corrective measures you will take? Will you consider going abroad instead? Lets face the fact that a lot of people here in our country doesn't have any regular work. I am not pushing you to go and live with your parents in UK but I am just stating facts. I salute you in wanting to get a job here. Kudos to you!

Choice is power. Choice is the creative power of life. Let me give some tips on how you can make the right choices. You have the choice to follow it or you can just ignore it. Its up to you.

Analyzed Outcomes
Not all decision is a moral choice. Sometimes its just a matter of choosing between foolishness and intelligence. For example, if you're a nonsmoker and your friends offer you a cigarette. Dont take it. That is foolishness. If you think that you will not be happy if you choose to smoke even if they are your friend, then don't do it. Choose the road that leads to happiness. It is the means that determine the end.

The Five Whys Technique
Its a problem solving technique invented by Sakichi Toyoda, the founder of Toyota. When something goes wrong, you ask "Why?" five times. By asking why something failed over and over, you eventually get to the root cause of why it failed.

Be aware of your choices
By being aware of the choices ly means we are accepting everything that comes along the way because of our choices. Always acknowledge that you made that decision. Be responsible.

Follow your instincts
People who make decisions quickly, even when lacking information are more satisfied with their decisions than people who research and carefully weigh their options. It actually comes from the very way our brain works. Our unconcious mind is much better at juggling and working through complex problems. People who believe and "go with their gut" are trusting the work of their unconcious mind.

The Choice is in your hands
Whatever choice you've made you should take full responsibility of it. By doing so,even if it fails you because of the choice you've made you still feel a winner- you know you did your best and you've gain valuable experience because of that choice

Confused Nurse, whatever choices you have in the future be proud of it. Be happy that you have the free will to decide on your own. Stand on whatever decisions you've made and if failure is in the end, dont lose hope. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. A lot of people around you are voting for you to win but also never neglect the fact that we are also surrounded by losers who always want to drag us down. fear not, the the deciding vote is in your hands. The ballot is the choice you make. Be careful how you choose!

I hope this helps. I know this is kinda long but I really do hope you will be successful in the future whatever choice you made today. God bless you!

Your friendly neighbourhood,


  1. minsan na din ako'ng nangibang bansa pero bumalik ako dito dahil sa hindi ko maatim na di makasama ang aking pamilya. sa kaso mo naman, mas ok ka na malayo sa mga magulang mo. well i can't blame you dahil inalagaan ka naman ng lola mo. pero if i were you, mas gugustuhin ko'ng makasama ang pamilya. of course it's still your choice. anumang advice ang ibigay namin, sarili mo pa rin ang magpapasya ng iyong bukas -


  2. Tama ka dyan Bino.. Kung ako man din gusto ko dun na lang kasama ang parents...pero may sarili siyang gustong gawin sa buhay niya. So its his choice.. hehehe

  3. uhmm yng storya niya ay naiiba sa mga registered nurse dito. siguro, sadyag masayang ugar lang talga ang pilipinas kaya mahirap iwan. ^_^..

    isa din akong nurse at gusto ko din manatili muna dito

  4. @kikilabotz - oo masaya ang Pinas.. pero ako mas gusto ko pa din ma try ang ibang bansa. Pero walang plano na tumira dun habang buhay. siguro magtrabaho para mag ipon tapos balik ng pinas. hahay...


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